Not another RE story: A Dangerous Encounter
by Steel Rain
Summary: While traveling through a dark, frightening forest, Jill encounters the most terrifying and deadly monster ever, Leon S. Kennedy. :O Oneshot! ;D


**So this was originally a chat on IMVU that I had with my girlfriend where I played as Leon and she played as Jill. I later had it converted into a fanfic. It's a funny Leon meets Jill parody. Enjoy! :)**

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The forest was dark and deep with despair and terror. The black night sky had made the forest seem endless as Jill carefully ventured through the thick forest, every step with much alert. The faint moonlight that protruded through the tree branches was her only source of light. She wasn't sure where she was nor where she was going, but it didn't matter. She was in dangerous territory and this forest had to end eventually. The quicker she got out of there, the better.

Just as she continued, she heard footsteps not far in front of her. She froze, gun in hand. She knew what kind of monsters lurked in these kinds of forests and was ready for whatever would come at her.

Leon walked through the forest, one hand on his gun and the other on a comb which he was using to carefully comb his soft, beautiful hair. He was lost in the forest after Ada had drugged him and left him out here. He didn't know what to do, but he knew well that the most important thing always came first, his hair. He had to make sure it was perfectly straight and shiny at all times. Otherwise, he'd be dead for sure.

Jill just barely managed to keep herself from pulling the trigger, her instincts nearly causing her to murder someone. She quickly lowered her gun and examined the man in front of her. He was young and had long hair... which he was combing. Jill was puzzled.

_"What the hell?" _She thought, questioning why anyone would be combing their hair in a place like this.

Leon took out his personal mirror and checked himself, making sure his hair was perfect.

_"Hello there, sexy."_ He said to himself, smiling with satisfaction and delight.

"Um, excuse me..." A voice had said to him which surprised him greatly.

"Uh, what?" He questioned, looking up to the direction of the voice.

"Uh, what are you doing?" She asked.

"Nothing!" He quickly replied and put the mirror and comb away, embarrassed that someone had seen him. Leon looked up to examine her. It was a woman, but not just any woman. A hot young woman in a tube top and mini skirt. Leon raised his eyebrows at the sight and smiled.

_"Oh, she's hot."_ He thought and then praised himself for having such luck. He knew he'd be able score this chick in no time.

"How did you get here? It's very dangerous!" She sounded worried, but it was no big deal. He knew how to work the ladies.

"Don't worry, sweetheart." He said, standing tall in a cool pose. "I'm a trained secret agent." He swooshed his hair back in a sexy movement. Jill rolled her eyes and tried to avoid his conceitedness. This place was dangerous and she really didn't have time for games.

"Alright, but that doesn't answer my question." She stated in a serious manner. "How did you get here?" She asked, repeating her previous question. Leon returned her seriousness with the utmost coolness.

"Oh, babe, I was just dropped off in my 'private' helicopter." He explained in an attempt to impress her.

_"Who the fuck does this fag think he is?" _Jill questioned herself in disbelief at the man's behavior. She really couldn't believe that someone could actually be acting like this in such a dangerous place. Regardless, she did her best to ignore him and keep to the important details instead.

"But why here?" She asked, referring to why he was dropped off here of all places. "There's zombies running everywhere!" Leon smiled in reply to her manner and remained calm despite her shouting.

"Well, normally I wouldn't tell anybody this but since you are such an 'attractive' woman I believe I can 'fill' you in." He said, smoothly. Jill's fists tightened, struggling hard to not punch this guy in the face.

"Listen." She said, changing the subject. "If you want to be alive then you better come with me before it's too late for the both of us." She explained. Leon smiled in reply as he slowly brushed his hair back.

"Don't worry, babe, I'm a professional." He stated, grinning. Jill was just about to go off on him when, just then, she got a different idea. She chuckled.

"Alright then! Tell you what..." She said with a wide smile. "You go fight all those monsters out there for me and show me you're such a professional while you give me some time to get to safety, deal?" Leon chuckled.

"Don't worry, sweetheart, I don't mind 'giving' it to you." He stated with much smoothness. Jill ignored it and went on.

"I'll take that as a yes then. Well, good luck!" She shouted and quickly turned away and ran off into the forest, happy as ever to have escaped that weirdo.

"Alright, hottie" Leon replied, smiling. He knew he'd done well. Just then he heard movement and turned around to see zombies and monsters looking straight at him. In a split second, he turned back and ran after the girl he'd just met.

"Hey, beautiful, wait up!" He shouted out to her and then caught up to her not too far down. He bent over and panted hard, worn out after running so hard. "Hey, why'd you leave me like that?" He asked.

"Hello, 'Mr. Professional.'" Jill said back in a mocking tone.

"Look, I am 'very' professional." Leon stated. Jill laughed at that.

"Oh, really? Then I take it you killed all of the monsters?"

"Well, with the overwhelming amount of monsters here, I know that it will take 'two' people to do this." He explained. "Two." He emphasized.

"But what happened to how 'professional' you are?" She asked back to his "logic".

"Nothing, I'm just being smart" He explained, resuming his cool manner that he'd had before and swooshed his hair again to finish it off. Jill sighed in frustration. Just then, a zombie dog had appeared.

"Oh, shit!" Leon shouted as he noticed the dog's presence. "Jill!" He cried out to her for help. Jill raised her gun and shot the dog down in a quick movement. She lowered it shortly after making sure it was dead. Leon sighed with relief and then smiled.

"No need to thank me, babe." He stated, smiling. "It's all under control." He explained. Jill was just about to knock the guy unconscious, but felt it better just to leave him be. With all that hair gel he could be good bait. She smiled at herself for realizing that.

"Right, right... Shall we get going then?"

"After you, gorgeous." Leon said smoothly, smiling.

_"Oh, god, someone help me!" _She shouted to herself, already hoping a monster would soon take this loser away from her. Leon, instead, walked with pride at his accomplishment.

_"Nice going, Leon, you scored a hot chick and protected her single handedly. You'll get laid in no time." _He thought as he traveled with her through the forest.

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**Oh, Leon, when will you ever learn... XD I hope you enjoyed the parody, review if you'd like to! :D**


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